Midwestern Me
I was born and raised in the great state of Illinois. I grew up in a small rural town, went to college in a larger rural town, and then moved to Chicago, the best city in the world. Midwesterners by breeding are modest, earnest, honest, and polite. We say “please” and “thank you,” we hold doors open for strangers, and we nod hello whether walking down a busy sidewalk or cruising down a country road in our pick up truck. We go to potlucks, we help our neighbors, we presume very little, and we’re grateful for what we have. I haven’t lived in the Midwest for ten years, and I miss it.
When I first moved to the East, I had a very difficult time. I was isolated at home with two small children. In an effort to meet other mom’s like myself, I went to a playgroup where none of the women would talk to me because I was an outsider. After a few very awkward and uncomfortable attempts to insert myself into this playgroup, I stopped attending. None of the women followed up to find out why I hadn’t continued. Not to say that there aren’t unfriendly Midwesterners, but we would at least have the good sense to feel bad about making someone else feel so uncomfortable.
In the Midwest, it is not uncommon to wave hello to someone passing you on a dusty back road or a deserted highway whether you know that person or not. Stranger or friend, there is no difference. I teach English at a community college. For the most part, instructors smile and nod as we pass one another on campus and in the hallways, even if we don’t know one another; it is a sign of solidarity. Yet, there are some who will avoid my eyes or suddenly become consumed with their cellphones when I pass. If this sort of behavior happens with an instructor I don’t know, it doesn’t bother me much; however, when it happens with someone I’ve been introduced to, I find it extremely rude. What does it cost that person just to make eye contact and smile?
Politeness and helpfulness are hallmarks of Midwesterners. This difference between us and them (the rest of the country) came into sharp contrast for me a few months ago. It had snowed a couple of inches and the floors in most of the buildings on campus were wet. I was coming from the mailroom where I’d made several photocopies, and as I walked with purpose (because Midwesterners always have a purpose, we seldom dawdle or stroll) back to the part-time faculty office, I slipped and fell. Initially, no one had been in the hallway, but no sooner had I hit the floor, sending my papers flying, did a young man come upon me. Now a Midwestern boy would have immediately asked if I was okay, offered his hand to help me up, and gathered my papers for me. This boy stood staring at me like I had six eyes as I struggled to my feet and gathered my belongings. He said nothing and didn’t move a muscle to help. I know many people around here who would have reacted differently when coming upon someone in distress, so it may be a sweeping generalization to blame his faults on all Easterners; perhaps he’d just never been taught any manners.
A Midwesterner’s manners come from us being an unassuming people. For example, I would never assume to stake a claim on a portion of a common area. The building I work in is being renovated, and as part of the work, a beautiful new office space was made for the part-time faculty. When the fall semester began, an email went out telling everyone not to bring boxes of books and files and leave them in the office until storage space had been allotted to everyone. The first day of the semester several boxes arrived with people’s names on them. The majority of the cubicles provided for computer use have been staked out with textbooks and pencil cups. And most of the file cabinets have been filled all without authorization and despite email pleas that people not claim any space as their own since the office is to be used by over two hundred people. Being an unassuming Midwesterner, the only space I have taken, after being given permission to do so, is a 2ft x 2ft.x 2ft. locker. This is all the space I need to store my laptop and books between classes and some lotion that I leave in there all the time. I would never presume to take up space unless it was allotted to me. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience anyone else. It wouldn’t be polite. Besides, I’m just grateful for the beautiful office space. What is there to complain about? You’d think nothing; however, that is all some of the part-time faculty do. They complain that the space is too small or that there isn’t enough storage or that there is no privacy or there is no. . . the complaints go on and on. My only complaint is that the rest of the part-time faculty seem totally ungrateful and I’m sick of listening to them whine. I did complain that the copy machine was on its last leg, but offset it by gushing about how grateful I was for the renovated office space.
The other major difference I see between Midwesterners and Easterners is the division of labor within households. There have been many times when my husband has done some type of major project in the yard or some type of home repair that requires physical labor, and instead of sitting back on the deck and watching him toil away while I sip a cool drink and read a book, I’ve been right in the thick of things with him. Several summers ago I helped him tear down an old aluminum shed that the previous owners had put up. I worked along side him using the power tools, carrying stacks of aluminum, and bending the metal into manageable bundles for the trash. The summer after that I helped him spackle and sand drywall and paint. More recently, I mowed the lawn because he was going to be away all weekend. Several of my Eastern friends have told me that they leave chores such as these up to their husbands, other men in their lives, or hire someone to do it for them. I think my willingness to work along side my husband doing manual labor is a direct result of my Midwestern roots. See, I come from an area that used to be solely used for farming. Outside of the Chicago area the majority of the rest of Illinois is corn fields. Women who lived on farms or come from farming families (although I am not one of these but have farm people in my roots) are used to working the farm right alongside the men because every hand is needed to do the work. Therefore, this willingness to jump in and “get our hands dirty” is ingrained in us Midwestern women. However, I am willing to concede that this trait is prevalent anywhere farming/ranching is a way of life.
I know my Eastern friends are going to cry foul that I am maligning them as a people; however, this post is just my humble observations as a Midwesterner. You can take the girl out of the Midwest, but you can’t take the Midwest out of the girl, not that I’d ever try to.
June 23, 2010 11:08 am 2 Comments
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By Sue, June 24, 2010 @ 4:32 pm
I hear you!!! Thanks for giving all of us Midwestener’s credit. I am proud to say that I am one of those farm wives and just yesterday after coming home from working at the office I helped Larry pick up 1200 bales of straw out of the field in 95 degree weather along with Aaron, Mom and Dad. I disk the fields, help repair equipment, mow the yard (4 acres) and I wave at everyone I pass. LOL This was an awesome article. I can’t wait to see you in a few weeks back in Illinois.
By Illinois baby, June 28, 2010 @ 6:12 pm
So true! Another stark difference is that people along the East coast have a tendency to be stuck up snobs when it comes to midwesterners, calling them things like rednecks. (which we are NOT)!! They also do not raise their children with the values and morals the midwesterners do.